Amare Et Sapere Vix Deo Conceditur
by coconutmandarin
Summary: They are kunoichi first, women second. But in the end they are human and not even they can resist their inner desires. Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur. Even a god finds it hard to love and be wise at the same time. Kunoichi character studies. REVISED.
1. Prologue

**Amare Et Sapere Vix Deo Conceditur**

They tell themselves that they are kunoichi first, women second. But in the end, they are human and not even they can resist their inner desires.

_Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur_.

Even a god finds it hard to love and be wise at the same time.

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**Prologue**

In the beginning, the common thread between them was Uchiha Sasuke.

Temari blames him for turning into a pedophile who hits on men three years younger than her.

He was the only person that had ever made Tenten _giggle_ at something that subverted Neji's authority.

Bruised cheeks, ripped clothes, and a broken friendship were what he caused between Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura.

Though Hyuuga Hinata has never spoken a word to him in her life, she has heard enough about the phenomenon that would be their child should they procreate. The very thought makes her Byagukan activate in distress.

Eventually, it isn't the genius shinobi of the cursed clan that connects them; it's the simple fact that they are women in a world dominated by men.

Kunoichi. That is what they are.

Like shinobi, they can wield weapons, create illusionary worlds, and control the elements. But unlike their male counterparts, they are well-versed in the more subtle aspects of their trade: casting alluring glances, turning the simplest body movement into something sensual, weaving their victim into an enchanted spell. Not merely ninja, they can be anything they are told to be: a consummate geisha, the seductive courtesan, some brash peasant girl.

They are beautiful, brilliant, and powerful; shameless, provocative, and charismatic. They have come from all walks of life to pursue a calling that is at once honorable and detestable, virtuous and sordid. Murder to protect, slay to save, kill to live. Nothing is more of a paradox than what they do and how they do it.

At times they feel overwhelmed by their guilt-ridden conscience, memories of the men, women, and children they have killed haunting their minds. But detachment is the fundamental principle of their art and they forcibly remove themselves from the horrors of reality. They tell themselves that this is who they are. No matter what, they are to place their responsibilities as guardians of their nation and kinsmen before anything else. They are kunoichi first, women second. The whims of ordinary people are not afforded to them.

They fail to realize that ultimately, not even the strongest of wills can conquer the irrepressible instincts of their mortality. At the end of the day, they are human. Not even they, the most disciplined, driven, self-controlled of women, are able to resist the dictates of their hearts.

_Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur._

Even a god finds it hard to love and be wise at the same time.

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**This fic was first published 8/14/07. I revised it 8/15/08. Today is 10/31/09 and once again, I'm rewriting it. It's a hassle and I know it's confusing for my former readers but _Amare Et Sapere Vix Deo Conceditur_ is one of my most beloved works. I'm not content to let it wallow in mediocrity due to my juvenile writing of years past. Besides, my plans for many of the characters have changed due to a combination of Kishimoto's ever-continuing story line and a more mature line of thinking on my part. **

**This fic takes root in canon--manga and anime--and my wishful thinking. ****For new readers, I hope these studies speak to you and enable you to think about the Naruto women in new ways. To my returning readers, I hope you enjoy the changes.**


	2. Faber Est Suae Quisque Fortunae

**Rewritten 7/15/08.**

**Rewritten again 11/24/09.**

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**One**

_Faber Est Suae Quisque Fortunae_

Hyuuga Hinata

1. Hyuuga Hinata was destined to become a queen.

As the eldest daughter of Hyuuga Hiashi, the leader of one of Konoha's most ancient and powerful noble families, it was her fate from the moment she was conceived to one day take control of the venerated house of Hyuuga. High hopes had been placed on her shoulders before they were even formed, expectations for a child who would one day grow up to be the greatest empress the Hyuuga had ever seen.

2. Fantasies, all of them.

Shy, timid, and meek, what was supposed to be the Hyuuga clan's strongest member ended up being the weakest. The signs were there early on—the way she would hide behind her father and cling tightly to his robes, the lack of words that came from her mouth, the distress she was in whenever she came across something foreign to her. Nothing about Hinata indicated she could one day run a clan or even become a decent kunoichi.

Oh, did Fate have a cruel sense of humor making her the Hyuuga crown princess.

3. No one was more disappointed in Hinata than her own father. For Hyuuga Hiashi, many of the tragedies and regrets he had suffered in his life were directly related to his daughter.

She was just three when the head ninja from Kumogakure came to Konoha to sign a peace treaty between Fire and Lightning. It was a ruse—what Lightning was really after was the secret behind the Hyuuga bloodline limit. As the Hyuuga slept one night, the Kumogakure ninja stole into the family compound and abducted Hinata. His attempt failed, however, as Hiashi detected foul intentions and woke up in time to catch and kill the man.

But politics is such a tricky art. Lightning demanded Hiashi's head for the murder of one of their own. If they were refused, the peace treaty would be no longer and Lightning would declare war on Fire. For the greater good, the Hyuuga had to abide by Kumogakure's demands.

Hiashi had been prepared to accept the consequences of his actions, even if they were undeserved. But the clan elders wanted his twin brother Hizashi to be sacrificed instead. Born just seconds after Hiashi, Hizashi had been relegated to the Branch family and branded with its curse mark because of it. Upon death, the elders reminded Hiashi, the curse seal would destroy the Byagukan and protect it from Lightning.

In the end, Hizashi offered himself up as the scapegoat. Hiashi had tried to stop him, but his brother paralyzed him with a single blow. This was to save him, Hizashi had said, and to save their country. Most of all, this was Hizashi deciding his own destiny. Hiashi could only grant his brother his one wish.

And think how in exchange for watching Hinata grow up, he lost the most important person to him in life.

4. Hiashi never let himself dwell over what happened all those years ago. To do so would be useless, only saddening him and making him want to turn back the hands of time. There was no point in wanting to change the past. He owed it to Hizashi to remember his brother's death for the honorable sacrifice it was.

But even the proud, indomitable leader of Hyuuga had his moments of weakness. Every time he trained Hinata and watched her fail miserably to live up to his expectations, he wondered if Hizashi's death had been in vain.

Hinata was not a genius. Great effort had to be exerted so that she could learn the way of the ninja, both on her father's part and on hers. It wasn't that she was stupid. Rather, it was because the shinobi way went completely against her natural tendencies. Hinata was a gentle girl who resented confrontation; making her fight was almost akin to asking a mother to poison her own child.

Eventually, Hiashi decided that teaching Hinata was a fruitless endeavor. She was docile and spineless, not fit to be anything more than a common housewife. He wondered if Fate was taunting him, giving Hizashi and his wife a genius for a son while he got a meek mouse of a daughter.

And then came a second chance.

5. Hanabi was born five years after Hinata. Because she was not the firstborn, she was supposed to have suffered the same fate as her uncle Hizashi and been placed in the Branch family. But for the first time in the history of the Hyuuga, the curse seal was not placed on the younger sibling. Hiashi, desperate for an heir and finding his firstborn unsuitable, ignored custom and named Hanabi his successor.

Hinata didn't know what to make of this sudden turn of events. She did not envy her sister at all for being the new heiress. In fact, she was glad to be rid of the heavy title. It was burdensome, knowing that one day she had to make decisions affecting the welfare of everyone in her family. But she couldn't deny the feelings of sadness at her father's outright show of favoritism. Wasn't a parent supposed to love all of his children equally and unconditionally?

6. It was Yuuhi Kurenai who became the mother Hinata never had. A newly minted Jounin at the time Hinata was placed on her Genin team, Kurenai had seen enough of the horrors of reality to no longer be fazed by them. But none of that—the dead bodies, the burned flesh, the rivers of blood—compared to the shock that came from Hyuuga Hiashi's dismissal of his daughter as though she was nothing but trash.

"Do as you like with her," he had said coldly. "A defect who is even weaker than Hanabi, someone five years her junior, is not needed in the Hyuuga."

When Kurenai stepped out of the training hall and saw the child's face, she felt her breath catch at the look of pure and utter sadness there.

7. Getting to know Hinata was a challenge. Her loveless childhood had made her withdrawn and reluctant to interact with others. She progressed so slowly at first that even Kurenai was frustrated. Just how deeply had Hiashi wounded his daughter? Enough for her to turn into that vengeance-obsessed Uchiha Sasuke or into that bitter cousin of hers? Hyuuga Neji was the son of her father's twin brother—the kinship was too close to dismiss the possibility of Hinata harboring the same kind of poisonous blood.

8. But family does not always mean blood relation. For Hinata, Kurenai, Aburame Shino, and Inuzuka Kiba were more of a family to her than her father and sister ever were. They were some of the few people who believed in her, who didn't deride or condescend to her every time she made a mistake. Being in their presence made Hinata feel relaxed—gone was the suffocating pressure she felt every time she was around her father.

9. Being away from her father and around her Genin team encouraged Hinata to come out of her shell. It was a slow process but under Kurenai's tutelage and her teammates' brotherly care, the disgraced heiress of the Hyuuga family began to blossom. She activated her family's bloodline limit and proceeded to learn the Jyuuken with a quickness that Kurenai was sure would have surprised Hyuuga Hiashi.

The real reason Kurenai allowed Team Eight to enter the Chuunin Exams that year was because of Hinata.

10. None of the members of Team Eight became a Chuunin that year. But for Hinata, it was a personal best. Just entering the Exam was overcoming a barrier for her. In part she did it because Kurenai recommended the team and Shino and Kiba were eager to "crush the competition" and be promoted. Hinata had always been a compassionate girl, thinking of others first. But she also entered the Exam because she wanted to prove her worth—not just to her father but also to herself.

11. She answered every question during the first part of the Exam, relying not on Byagukan or other ninja abilities to cheat and steal others' answers but on sheer intelligence. She honed her talent in medicine, making a healing ointment by herself for Kiba and Akamaru. Most importantly, she stood up to her cousin. Neji, the once sweet little boy who had smiled at her from beside his father, had grown into a bitter thirteen-year-old who despised the Main House and all of its members for what happened to his family. He had mocked her, called her a failure and a weakling. She would never change, he said coldly, because it was her fate to forever be inferior.

In retrospect, Hinata had to thank her cousin for his kind words.

12. Neji was a genius. It was as if Kami-sama decided to play a cosmic joke on him by granting him extraordinary talent in exchange for relegating him to the Branch family and for taking his father away. His Byagukan was far more superior to Hinata's. By her age, Neji had mastered everything she had and more. Next to him, Hinata really did look like the failure and weakling he had called her.

But she'd be damned if she took it lying down. She may have gone into cardiac arrest because she took a few too many jabs to her tenketsu but instead of crying or running away—things she would have done in the past—Hinata fought. She fought for what she believed in, for her honor, because she didn't believe in the omnipotence of Fate and she never would.

She wished her father had seen it.

13. Hinata would have never been able to do it had it not been for Uzumaki Naruto. The dark horse going into the preliminary match against Kiba, the absurd, embarrassingly loud Hokage-hopeful had made the impossible possible when he pulled off a victory because of a timely bout of flatulence. When it came time for Hinata's own match, Naruto hollered at the top of his lungs from the overhead balcony, cheering her on. They were simple words: "You can do it Hinata!" "Don't listen to him!" But to her, they were the weapons she needed to fight Neji and his overwhelming hate.

14. From the moment Hinata first laid eyes on Uzumaki Naruto, she didn't stop noticing him. At first she felt pity for the boy. It was common knowledge that he was the Kyuubi container and because of it, many shunned him. He was the worst in their class at the Academy and, most of all, he was an orphan—a title that didn't technically fit Hinata but she was able to empathize with it well enough. Gradually, pity turned to admiration. It amazed Hinata that somebody could be so cheerful and optimistic when there was so little in his world to be happy about. What did Naruto have? Nothing but a demon fox inside his body.

Uzumaki Naruto was Hinata's idol. It only took a little while before he became the object of her affection.

15. For years nothing happened between them. Not a surprise considering every time she saw him, she was a mess. She twiddled her thumbs. She stuttered. They were nervous tics of hers that she had developed as a child, most likely physical manifestations of the crushing pressure she grew up with. She couldn't control them because they happened almost unconsciously.

It didn't help that Naruto was still head over heels in love with his teammate Haruno Sakura. Next to her pink hair and green eyes, Hinata felt washed out. It wasn't that Hinata was ugly; the passing of the years saw her transform from a girl into a woman with her figure filling out and her blue-black hair growing down to her back in a silken mass. But Hinata had never been one to give a thought to her appearance and the self-consciousness that plagued her since childhood prevented her from seeing what a lovely young woman she had become. The thought that she could never compare to a kunoichi as brilliant as Haruno Sakura further lowered her self-esteem and only worsened her stuttering.

No wonder Naruto had called her weird.

16. It literally took an apocalypse for Hinata to tell Naruto she loved him. Pein had invaded Konoha and everywhere she turned, chaos ruled. People were dying and the sky was dark from the smoke of destroyed buildings. Screams of fear and pain and the clashing of metal and jutsu and chakra resounded in the air. It was raining rubble and blood. A member of the Branch family had been injured and she was insisting that his wounds be healed but then she saw something that made her blood run cold. Through the haze of war, Hinata saw Pein standing over a fallen Naruto.

She didn't think. All she knew was that Naruto was in danger and that she needed to do something—anything—to save him. A strength she had never known coursed through her and she threw herself into Pein's line of attack.

"What are you doing here!?" Naruto had screamed. "It's dangerous!"

"I'm here of my own free will."

She was choosing her own destiny.

17. Hinata knew she was going to die. Pein was a god, a monster that had taken out Kakashi, Tsunade, and countless others. If he could make Naruto fall to his knees, then there was no way she would stand a chance against him.

But she wasn't going to the grave burdened with all her secrets and memories. In the few agonizing seconds before Pein's attack—the calm before the storm—Hinata revisited her childhood and revealed to Naruto the depths of her soul.

"I nearly went the wrong way. I used to always cry and give up. But you…you showed me the right way. I was always chasing you, wanting to overtake you…I just wanted to walk with you, to be with you. You changed me. Your smile saved me. So I'm not afraid to die protecting you because I love you!"

18. "Love breeds sacrifice…"

It was a simple observation, made so quietly that Hinata barely heard it. When she did, she wondered if Kami-sama was amusing himself by stating the obvious. What other reason did she have for making the ultimate sacrifice for Naruto than love? She thought of her uncle Hizashi and how he had sacrificed himself to save her father. In the end, had it been fate for her to repeat his actions?

And then Hinata realized that it hadn't been Kami-sama talking—it had been Pein. He hadn't killed her, although she was suffering such excruciating pain she almost wished for the peace of death. There was an awful taste in her mouth, a mixture of blood, saliva, and dirt. Her face and hands could feel the gritty earth beneath them. But they were minor discomforts compared to the gaping hole in her torso. Pein had stabbed her with his chakra blade and her life was bleeding out of the gash. She was alive—but barely.

If Hinata could have laughed at that moment, she would have. Because by defying death she had finally proved that there really was no such thing as Fate.

19. When Uchiha Sasuke's entire clan was massacred, he swore to avenge them by killing his traitorous brother.

When Hyuuga Neji's father was taken from him, he was filled with a bitterness that consumed him whole.

Hinata was no stranger to suffering. For much of her early life, she had been groomed to become a great kunoichi and a powerful clan leader against her will. On the outside, she took up her duties like the obedient, respectful girl she was; on the inside, she was falling apart. But no one was there to listen. Her mother was practically nonexistent, hidden behind her husband's imposing shadow. Her father had shunned her for being a disgrace to the Hyuuga name. Hinata may not have lost a loved one like Sasuke or Neji but she knew the tempting chill of the darkness and how familiar the desire to indulge the demons and alleviate the pain in her heart was.

But she resisted. Little Hyuuga Hinata—timid, faint-hearted Hyuuga Hinata with her speech impediment and jittery thumbs—did what the Uchiha and Hyuuga geniuses weren't able to. By strength of will, she had scorned Fate and determined her own destiny.

That made her a queen in her own right.

20. _Faber est suae quisque fortunae._

Every man is the artisan of his own fortune.

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**I changed quite a bit of Hinata's piece. Changed her Latin phrase, tightened up the overall structure with several overarching themes, ****went more in-depth, ****took out a lot of my unnecessary additions. I think it's a lot more faithful to canon.  
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**I've deleted the old _Amare Et Sapere Vix Deo Conceditur_. It can be found on my LiveJournal. From now, I'll be uploading the revised versions as I go. **

**Stick with me :)  
**


	3. Saepe Creat Molles Aspera Spina Rosas

**Rewritten: 4/6/08**

**Rewritten again: 12/11/09**

**Every time I try to "somewhat edit" my stories, I end up rewriting the entire thing basically.**

**So thanks to each and every one of my reviewers--your insightfulness makes me feel like this story is worth all the damn soul-searching :)**

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**Two**

_Saepe Creat Molles Aspera Spina Rosas_

Temari

1. Temari was not royalty. Unlike the Hyuuga and Uchiha clans, her family did not establish the nobility of their line by founding an empire. Rather, her family became Sunagakure aristocracy by wresting power away from the ruling class.

Viciously.

The blood that ran in Temari's veins was not royal blood—it was a life force corrupted by megalomania. But in the end, she was the daughter of the Yondaime Kazekage and the older sister of the Godaime Kazekage and that made her a princess.

2. Temari would have traded her title in if she could. Traded it in for a caring, loving, _normal_ family. To her, the power of the crown meant nothing but the coldness of a father, the premature deaths of a mother and an uncle, and the tainted innocence of three childhoods. Multiple lives…all ruined by the temptress that power is.

Even if it was for control over a kingdom, it was a poor trade.

3. She was around three years old when her life changed. It seemed like standard procedure; the Wind daimyo cut the budget reserved for Suna's defense and redirected the funds to departments in serious need of support. He had hoped the military force would continue to operate at its previous levels but instead, the amount of ninja fell drastically. In an effort to regain manpower in the quickest way possible, the Yondaime decided to seal a bijuu within his unborn son.

Quality over quantity.

What a flawed concept.

4. Temari was too young to fully understand the gravity of the situation but she was a precocious child. Her mother Karura had gone to the grave with a rancorous heart, eyes alight with a murderous glint. It was a striking contrast to the gentle woman with sandy brown hair and a soft smile always on her face.

The discrepancy was not lost on Temari.

5. When she finally figured out the whole truth, Temari didn't know whom to blame.

There was the Wind daimyo, whose politics set off the tumultuous chain of events.

There was her father, whose ruthless, one-track mind made the cruel choice to sacrifice both his wife and youngest son.

There was Chiyo, the village elder who followed her father's orders and sealed Shukaku within Gaara.

There was her mother, whose bitterness and refusal to serve her country made her curse her child.

There was Yashamaru, the seemingly warmhearted uncle whose pleasant temperament belied the hatred that resided within.

And there was Gaara…the very reason Temari's life became a living nightmare.

6. Temari feared her brother. She feared him for the same reason everyone else in the village did—because he was the container of Shukaku. But the terror was that much more real for Temari because Gaara lived with her, breathed the same air as her. He was always _there_, always conscious when everyone else wasn't for fear that the demon within would take over when he let his guard down.

Temari resented her youngest brother too, partly because one tends to fear what one hates and partly because he was the easiest target for her anger. The Wind daimyo and Chiyo were not a part of Temari's life. Her mother and uncle were dead. And there was no point in blaming her father when she already had all her life for being more of a ruler than a parent.

Blaming Gaara for killing her mother and tearing apart her family was the simplest way for her child's mind to deal with the tragedy. But deep down, Temari knew her brother was just as much a victim of circumstance as she was. At times, she found her reserve faltering and instead of despising Gaara, she pitied him. Because it was still her younger brother that sat by himself on the swing, watching the other kids play together longingly. It was still her brother that tried to help the kids out when their ball rolled away from them, only to be run away from in thanks. And then Temari would feel a stab of guilt, knowing that she was just as bad as the village children.

How could she have done anything else though? The day Gaara completely transformed, extreme unease became full-fledged terror.

7. The encounter with the creature from another world was a seismic upheaval of Temari's way of life. She had always known a dark entity was residing within her brother's body but she only knew what she had heard and therefore could only speculate about what kind of evil it was and be apprehensive in her uncertainty. Then she saw the monster in the flesh and realized that she had gravely underestimated the severity of the situation. Shukaku was no boogieman that lived under beds and hid in closets—it was a Jinchuuriki capable of massive destruction.

When their father dispatched assassins, Temari couldn't deny the sense of relief that washed over her. For the greater good, she steadfastly told herself, quelling her rising guilt by convincing her conscience it wasn't her brother they were killing but a monster.

8. Her sense of relief was short-lived for every mission the Kazekage ordered ended in failure. Suna lost even more of its ninja, all of them killed by Gaara and his deadly sand. Realizing that it was next to impossible to rid his hands of the failed experiment that was his son, the Yondaime decided instead to utilize Gaara as a tool in the upcoming Chuunin Exams in Konoha. The Leaf was aiding in the erosion of the Sand by eagerly accepting the Wind daimyo's commissions. As the Kazekage, he had to put a stop to it—not just to save the village but also to ensure that power stayed within the Sabaku family for as long as their bloodline was alive.

Too bad his daughter did not share his visions of everlasting glory.

9. Temari was a study in contradictions.

On the outside, she was tough and slightly crude, more of a man than a woman with her overbearing demeanor and authoritarian manner. She had grown up in the harsh desert of Suna among the most cruel and ruthless of men and that had made her just as unforgiving as a result. Kill or be killed wasn't just a saying in her world—it was a mantra to live by.

But Temari was hardly as merciless as her exterior suggested either. In truth, she was more compassionate than one would think possible with a background as tainted as hers. She hated unnecessary conflict because of the pain it brought. Every time she was required to kill, Temari found her sense of duty warring with her sense of identity.

10. Like the time she went to Konoha to participate in the Chuunin Exams. She knew the real reason she and her brothers were entered in the contest and though she went willingly, she questioned her father's motivation for creating a false sense of security for Konoha. Whatever happened to diplomacy? Respect for others and the belief that strength of character comes not from power and status but from the goodness of one's soul?

Angered at being forced to contribute to the façade, Temari succumbed to her inner bloodlust and fought brutally. In the preliminaries to the third round, she was pitted against a Leaf kunoichi who only wielded weapons and within minutes, the girl's attacks were all negated. Temari had meant to spare the child from landing on her own toys by catching her with her iron fan, but when Tenten's body landed on it with a sickening crunch, Temari couldn't deny the twisted sense of satisfaction she felt. She would have prolonged the feeling too by changing her mind and deciding to throw the bun-haired girl onto the weapon-strewn ground had it not been her teammate.

11. Was she psychotic? No—that was Gaara. But she was a Sabaku and by default, there was a savageness in her that, try as she might, could never be erased.

She knew how she and her siblings must have appeared to the younger Leaf Genin. When Tenten's teammate had jumped in to save her, he had looked at Temari with a mixture of anger and disgust in his doe eyes.

"Why did you do that?" He yelled. "Is that something you should do to someone who fought her hardest?"

She wished the boy hadn't seen the ruthless side of her. But then again, this wasn't a game and they were the enemy. If she wanted to come out alive, she had to show them no mercy.

12. That was the practical side of her speaking. Temari had always been a brilliant strategist and in terms of brain power, very few could match her mind's hundred mile per hour pace. She wasn't necessarily book-smart but she was street-smart, a kunoichi more calculating and cunning than scholarly and studious. In her opinion, facts and figures weren't what mattered on the battlefield but ingenuity and the ability to improvise.

Temari was older and wiser than the prepubescent girls of the Leaf. That, coupled with her ninja skills, made her the strongest kunoichi at the Chuunin Exams and it wasn't a surprise when she was the only female to advance to the final round.

13. She was matched up with Nara Shikamaru, some Leaf Genin who specialized in shadow jutsu. Temari hadn't expected anything of the kid. He just seemed so slow; unresponsive, vacuous—someone who never tried nor saw any point in doing so. When he unceremoniously fell into the arena from twenty feet up as a means of an entrance, Temari was far from impressed. What an embarrassing way to start the match off. With monstrous strength, she slammed the length of her fan into the ground he was laying on.

That got him moving.

"I don't care if I can't become Chuunin," he drawled, standing in front of her, "but a man can't lose to a woman."

She was going to kill him.

14. In her fury, Temari had overlooked one key note: Nara Shikamaru was an even better strategist than she was. Blessed with an IQ over 200, Shikamaru was like Temari in that he wasn't what he seemed. Just as she was pugnacious and headstrong yet tenderhearted and soft, he was lazy and average looking but exceptionally intelligent and a formidable shinobi.

Temari gave the fight everything she had but in the end, Shikamaru won. Even if he forfeited, everyone—including her—knew who the victor was. He said he was at the end of his chakra but in truth, he just didn't want to hit a girl.

Temari couldn't decide if he was a gentleman or just a coward.

15. It didn't matter what he was because the Kazekage's plan was still in full swing. Shortly after her match, Sound and Sand invaded Konoha and with Kankuro, Temari rushed Gaara away from the village so he could recover from his battle with Uchiha Sasuke.

She was still torn over the situation. What was the point in disturbing the peace of Konoha besides ruining the lives of all those children? She thought of Tenten and Shikamaru and how they were going to experience the same fear that controlled her childhood. She may not have liked the Leaf Genin but she wasn't so cruel as to wish the torturous life she had on them.

Temari didn't consider herself much of a believer in divine providence but when the plot against Konoha failed, its proponents fleeing for their lives or already dead, she felt there was justice in the world.

For example, her father. Perhaps he had good intentions, attacking Konoha in order to save Suna from annihilation. But there was a hunger for power involved as well, a desire to preserve their family's credibility back home. That lust—the same lust that drove him to sacrifice his wife and son and use his three good-as-orphaned children for his own purposes—was enough to condemn him to the flames of hell for all eternity.

16. The collaboration between the Sand and Sound was a catastrophe but Temari had to thank her father for one thing: his foresight. In retrospect, the war was necessary. It forced Konoha and Suna to realize the precarious situation they were in politically, allowing them to wipe the slate clean and rebuild the shaky alliance they had previously in the name of peace. It ushered in a new age of government for both nations, one that was less aggressive and more assertive in Suna and one that would bring a new style of authority to Konoha in times of rapid change.

But what Temari was most grateful for was how the conspiracy mended her broken family together. Gaara, having found someone he could identify with in Uzumaki Naruto, was no longer the dehumanized monster that harbored malice towards everyone around him. He took the first step to heal the gap between him and his siblings by apologizing to her and Kankuro, easing the fear and hatred that had plagued them for so much of their lives. It came at the best of times for their father, the last member of their family, had been murdered.

They were truly alone now, with nobody but each other.

17. Their new status as orphans hardly crossed Temari's mind for she was struck with the realization that she was finally under no one's control and in full command of her life. Fueled by the power of her independence, Temari pushed herself to her limits in becoming stronger with a gritty determination that was so characteristically her.

At eighteen, she became the only female of her generation to achieve Jounin status. Her skill was so considerable that as Suna's ambassador to Konoha, she traveled the two-day path between the two countries alone and without an escort. She didn't worry about rapists or kidnappers; even though she was beautiful, with her bedroom eyes and enough curves to override the slimming effects of black clothing, she was strong and in no way incapable of defending herself.

18. Temari was no damsel in distress but if there was one female stereotype she filled, it was that of a mother. She hadn't meant to do it but it came so easily to her that she didn't even realize it. As the oldest of her siblings and a female, it was only natural for her to take on a maternal role to the men around her.

When Shikamaru came back from the failed mission to retrieve Uchiha Sasuke, he was bawling his eyes out for failing the mission and injuring his teammates. Temari simultaneously reprimanded him for his lack of emotional control while comforting him.

When Akatsuki member Sasori poisoned Kankuro, Temari rushed home from Konoha to look after her brother while planning to rescue Gaara, who had been kidnapped before the fray.

And then there was the time Temari accompanied Gaara to the Five Kage meeting. While there, a massive fight erupted between Uchiha Sasuke and the five Kages. One Samurai from the Land of Iron had been hit with Amaterasu and in a bid to save his life, Temari cut off his burning armor.

The life of a shinobi was dangerous, too unpredictable and so fleeting. Just as Gaara sought to redeem himself by putting the safety of his villagers before his own personal welfare, so Temari looked for salvation for the wrongs she committed before by saving the innocent.

19. When Temari died, she was buried with the large iron tessen she had carried all her life. Most people assumed it was because part of her identity as a kunoichi was defined by the fan that allowed her to use powerful jutsu but for those who truly knew her, they knew it was because that fan was a part of her.

A childhood burdened by tragedy and suffering had hardened her, made her build a wall around her as impenetrable as the cold steel of her weapon. Like it, she was always closed up, opening only to unleash destruction. What the fan was capable of represented the deadly kunoichi that Temari was, the part of her that was cruel and merciless.

But the fan itself was who Temari the woman was. Beautiful in its latency, it was a thing to be admired, appreciated—a thing whose aesthetic properties were fragile and delicate. For when opened, Temari was just like it: beautiful, vulnerable.

The most rare of desert flowers.

20. _Saepe creat molles aspera spina rosas._

Often the prickly thorn produces tender roses.

* * *

**I _love _this Latin quote. I think it fits Temari perfectly and I rewrote this piece with her contradictions as the main theme.  
**

**When I was writing, I watched old episodes of Naruto for research. Somebody tell me how Tenten gets cut up by Temari's wind during the Chuunin prelims but Shikamaru doesn't in the finals. Does having a penis automatically give you some type of immunity?  
**


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